So, a while back, I’m flipping through YouTube, and I see a video titled, “I’m making the MOST CURSED horror game“. The thumbnail for this video is as follows: “Day 26” on the lower left side, a yellow light machine-gun in the lower right side, and a GIANT SPIDER STEAM TRAIN dead center.

My urge to both click and run were unparalleled. Needless to say, clicking won out and I watched the video. What followed was this terrifying yet intriguing concept of one man on mission to make a horror game in one year, by himself! The concept of this game, you ask? The game is about a spider train named Choo-Choo Charles. A train which you have to hunt down in your own lil’ customizable steam engine, obviously.

It’s been about a year since that video came out. Mandy has already watched videos on it, but not me, I’ve been a good little conductor. Now that I’ve played enjoyed the game wholly, let’s talk about it. I’m going to tell you a little about it, with minimal spoilers of course. Shall we dive into this, I think we shall.

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Disclaimer: some pictures may depict acts of violence that some may find disturbing or offensive.

Also: *Spoilers*

What is Choo-Choo Charles About?

Let me elaborate a little on what “spider train named Choo-Choo Charles” means. While that is meant as literal as possible, there are side quests and a bit of story to go along with everything. The premise: you, a renowned hunter, are called in by a friend. His name is Eugene, and Eugene lives on an island. This island is home to none other than Charles himself. As for the reason why Charles is on the island, well, let’s just say that a local mining company likes the idea of potentially weaponizing a mass-murdering psycho spider train-demon hybrid.

So you make it to the island, catch up with your ol’ pal Eugene, and play through a bit of a tutorial until tragedy strikes! EUGENE’S DEAD! VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE CHARLES, VENGEANCE YOU HEAR!!!

With your newly acquired steam train to explore with and defend yourself, it’s time for an adventure.

Choo-Choo Charles Mechanics

For a game made in just over a year the game runs very smoothly. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed a more flowing feel to movement in games. Games like 7 Days to Die & The Forrest are fun but running in those feels like watching a paranormal activity movie. In Choo-Choo Charles you glide along with minimal camera sway, albeit at a speed that would make Usain Bolt jealous. To be fair, running that fast makes sense, especially when you like to explore. Especially when that exploring leads to an open field, miles from your train, Charles across from you on a hill.

Don’t fret though. If you aren’t in the middle of nowhere you can hop in your train that comes strapped with a loaded machine gun. Be prepared for a fight though.

Choo-Choo Charles will chase you down, damaging your train in the process. If either you or your train’s HP gets to 0 its game over. So you’ll have to alternate between shooting and making repairs in the cab. Fortunately for you, damaging Charles will drop the resources that you need to make repairs, so keep shooting! Your life depends on it!

Now, it may seem all shooty-shooty bang bang with what I’ve told you so far. Fortunately the main missions of the game take us on little detours through caves to collect “artifacts”. In the caves, we encounter the Cult of Charles. Masked miners following their leader’s orders who worship the Demon Train. Whether they worship out of fear or respect, we may never know. Now, we’re unarmed, so stealth is our best bet. Stay out of sight as you navigate these tunnels and you just might make it out alive.

Side Quests, Collectables, and PICKLES

If you thought that stealth and shooting were the only things to do, you would be sorely mistaken. There is a very large map that your train will take you all throughout. Scattered about is the game’s currency, scraps!

Scraps can be found along paths, in boxes along the railway, and even locked crates. However, the best way to collect scraps is by helping the denizens of this once beautiful mining island. Everyone you run into will ask you for a favor (usually to go grab an item close by) and return it to them. Your reward being more scraps than you’ll know what to do with. Before long you’ll be swimming in scraps! In addition to scraps, some quests will reward you with new weapons for your train. These missions are highlighted in red. While noticeably more challenging than scrap missions they won’t give you too much trouble, I promise.

Having such a massive map can be a challenge in some cases, but TwoStarGames does a wonderful job at sprinkling collectibles and lore in just the right places. I won’t go into the lore, that’s your job, but there are collectibles in the form of paint cans that allow you to customize the color of your cab. Personally this was a nifty way of letting us mow down Charles in a purple steam train of vengeance

There was actually a lot of NPC quests that were pretty comical, one of which sticks out the most:

This quest had us cracking up. Without hesitation both Mandy and I looked at each other saying “this is you”. And truly it is, if we were stuck on an island with a Demon Train, having a pickle cave would most definitely be our first priority. Why don’t you go ahead and leave a comment with your favorite NPC. It’d be worth the laugh.

Our Take on Choo-Choo Charles

All-in-all, there’s a good amount to do. With plenty of secondary objectives and spicy lore that fills in the gaps this game brought us back to a simpler times. I haven’t played a game that was solely about enjoying the experience in a long time. No “getting on the objective” or challenges to unlock this or that. Choo-Choo Charles is a game made by someone with a good heart, a masochistic heart, but good nonetheless. Thank you TwoStarGames for making this game so much fun, and thank you for reminding me why I have a pathological fear of spiders.

We certainly hope that you as our wonderful readers enjoyed this review. If you did, why not subscribe to the mailing list? All you have to gain is more game reviews and some mighty good lookin’ recipes. After you’ve signed up why not tell your friends about us, I mean, you like this and if your friends are half as awesome as you I’m sure they will too! Make sure to check out TwoStarGames, it seems that they’re potentially starting development on a Choo-Choo Charles 2. Now that’s what I call spicy